Illusions
by Zaray
Summary: And sometimes, his imagination was the only thing holding him together. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I dont own anything except the plot.

Wow, it's been awhile since I've written anything, but hopefully I haven't done a completely bad job with this=P

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><p>He couldn't tell you when it happened, when he started living more in fantasy than reality. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment for you, but he could tell you what caused it. Not that he would, because that would reopen wounds he likes to tell himself scabbed over. But at least <em>he<em> knew, and the people in his fantasies knew, and that was all that really mattered to him.

Now in reality, no one knew about how much he hurt. He was a boy with a heart too big for his own good, with sapphire eyes that knew too well how to hide the pain and a laugh and smile so cheerful and contagious that one would never guess what his heart truly felt. And sure, these people knew of what happened to him, they were all aware of it, but with the way he acted no one ever thought it still bothered him.

They believed he was over everything, which part of him was glad for, because he felt if they knew the truth, they'd judge him for not getting over everything yet. It had been awhile, even he knew that. But that didn't change anything. And after awhile he began to pay less and less attention to time that passed him by. Acknowledging it only made him realize that he was still the same.

Still heartbroken, still hurting.

And all _that _did was upset him even more and make him fall deeper into the fantasies he wished were real.

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><p>He wouldn't say that he was depressed. He would more say that he wasn't happy with life. And he tried, oh did he try, to make things better. But there's only so much you can do, before reality steps in and reminds you of how much power you <em>don't <em>have over it. But he's not depressed, heavens no. That would be crazy. But then again, he guessed living in a fantasy wasn't exactly sane, either.

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><p>And sometimes, the fantasies weren't even fantasies- they were memories. Memories he grew too fond of. One's he just couldn't let go of, even though he wanted to. Even though he had truly tried. They just always found a way back to him. Or maybe,...<em>he<em> just always found a way back to _them_. And before he knew it, fantasy would collide with the past and he would cry until his head hurt.

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><p>But he guessed he couldn't escape the truth. He was the boy who was an optimist at heart. A boy who hid his hope in places only he could find, so no one would see how hurt he became when the object of his hope let him down. A boy who had lost his faith more times than he could count, but somehow always found a reason to believe again.<p>

A boy who would live in his fantasies, in his memories, until he's found. It's not that he wants to be there, it's that he needs an incentive to leave. All he really wanted was a reason. A reason to open up, to allow someone to get close again, and most importantly, a reason to prove to himself that he is worth something. Something that isn't the monster he thinks he is.

He's a boy with a good soul, one more decent than most, who makes mistakes like anyone else, but always does his best to fix it. And he isn't perfect, he'd be the first to admit it. He'd tell you he was many mistakes and bad qualities wrapped in one. But all he wants is for someone to see past that. He just wants someone to figure out that he lies and distances himself because he doesn't want to be hurt again.

He doesn't think he can handle anymore pain. So he keeps to himself, and yearns for someone to invest enough time in him to break down his walls and coax him out of the tower he's locked himself away in.

Maybe one day, when this reason comes along, he'll allow himself to feel again. He'll open the door, and he'll let himself out of the prison he's made to keep himself safe, though all it's really done is make him more alone. And maybe on that day, he'll stop cursing how sensitive he is or how easily he gets attached because this reason of his will make him believe there's nothing wrong with that.

They'll make him feel like he's worth something again.

Hopefully, this reason will need him like he needs someone. And maybe they'll build their own tower, not too high, but high enough so that they're still close to the world, but in a place where nothing will tear them apart. And he'll believe again, and he'll come back to reality, because he's found a time where fantasy and reality collide.

And maybe then,_ just maybe_, he'll truly smile again from the bottom of his heart. Because now he's found a reason to say he's actually happy again. Maybe he'll let go of his fantasies completely since he has no need for them anymore. Then, he could work on his reality so that he never has to retreat to the recesses of his mind to find comfort.

Just maybe.

But until then, he'll lock himself away and be the "damsel in distress" he doesn't want to admit being. And he'll wait for this reason he's put so much faith and time into and pray for them to rescue him. So wherever you are Reason, he pleads for you to find him soon, before he completely loses himself to the darkness within.

However, before you come to get him from wherever you are, understand that love has brought him both pain and joy. But he's still willing to fall back into it, if it means he can rid himself of the loneliness surrounding him. Just remember that your presence isn't enough. You have to prove to him that you're worth the risk of unlocking the doors and escaping the place he's made for himself again. A place, he unfortunately, thinks is home.

So when this boy, with spiky hair and tan skin, makes his way to you with heart in hand- battered and broken, but still beating, he'll be shy about it. Because he feels that there's much more beautiful hearts out there. And all you need to do is take him by the other hand and pull him towards you so he makes that final step out his tower that he's so _very _afraid of making on his own.

And he'll love you forever, because he's an optimist at heart, and all he ever wanted was a reason to let himself feel something positive again.

But let's face it, this reason can't be just anyone. Sora wouldn't want just _anyone. _ He wants the boy who put him in this standstill in the first place. The one he's tried getting over for so long but still loves in the end. So atop his tower, Sora will stay.

Still waiting.

Still wishing.

And still wondering, when the boy with silver hair and green eyes will come back for him.

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><p>Ugh, I don't even know if i like this. Tell me what you think?<p> 


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